


Sacrifice

by Scorchcake



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 14:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20472302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorchcake/pseuds/Scorchcake
Summary: Shinji Ikari contemplates the aftermath of sacrifice.





	Sacrifice

I asked you for your name and you gave me confusion. 

Foreign characters spelling a familar name. 

What did it mean? Why didn't I see it sooner?

A soulmate without a past. A true and caring heart who loves unconditionally. A pilot in the nick of time. If my life had taught me anything, it's that soulmates only exist in stories, that love is never unconditional, that the nick of time is always missed... 

The one, overarching lesson that my father taught me, and I ignored it for you... Your smile... Your touch... 

Your tenderness doesn't erase the pain of your absence. How could you show me heaven and then leave me in purgatory? At least the others were plain in their deception. Now I have nothing but loss, the hole where your compassion used to be. 

Did you think your "grace" would be enough to mend a human heart? 

What good is humanity when humanity wants nothing to do with me? 

You were the only one who ever held me close without wanting something in return. Now all I have are the words of strangers, judging me, assessing me towards their own ends. 

I would have died for you, if only you'd let me. Anything would have been better than this... If you'd truly loved me, you would have known that sacrifice was the last thing I wanted from you. 

With you, I finally lived. Without you, I'm a child again. Lost. Abandoned. Idolizing nothing but the grave. At least that's where you are... 

Let's rot together, free from all this noise. Free of this false struggle... The destiny given to us by other hands is nothing but a shackle. Cast off your bonds and hold me once more. I promise I will wait for you.


End file.
